Trost
by Joist
Summary: Aya and Yohji's relationship ended horribly, and didn't last long at all. But fleeting happiness is true happiness, and that that is what the two had. (Yaoi YohjixAya YohjixSchuldich)


**Trost**

By: Joist

Summary: Aya and Yohji's relationship ended horribly, and didn't last long at all. But fleeting happiness is true happiness, and that that is what the two had. (Yaoi/ YohjixAya/ YohjixSchuldich)

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz or any related logos/characters. Only cool kids' have their own anime series.

~*~

_The title means "Solace," by the way... ^^; Oh! And there's just the TINIEST bit of AyaxKen in here. Blink and you'll miss it._

~*~

Yohji lie quiet on his bed in his dark apartment, staring blankly at his ceiling fan. The blades were going slow, it was at its minimum speed; sweat seeped from the man's pores, dotting his upper lip and his nostrils and forehead, but he didn't bother wiping them away.

He wasn't upset about Aya and his untimely "break up." Or rather, he was upset, he just wasn't going to go flop and his bed and sob about it and let the whole world know. This so-called separation was in Weiss's best interest. The group, not the individuals. Work came first, then their lives in this business. They had to protect others. During that defense, they couldn't protect themselves or each other.

Definitely not each other.

Yohji and Aya had to, unfortunately, learn that the hard way. The _really_ hard way. Yohji had never fancied breaking up with anyone, boy or girl, and when it was Aya – someone who he had adored from "afar" so many months (he shared an apartment complex with the man; how far could he get from him!?) – it made it _so much harder._

It was in everyone's best interest...

"Yeah, Kudou, keep telling yourself that, and maybe it'll come true," he mumbled to himself and to the still air of his apartment.

There was a knock at the door. Yohji hesitated in answering, but reluctantly rolled out of bed and unlocked the door – opening it for the two young men that stood outside.

"We thought you might need some company," Omi said, meekly but still cheerfully. He pulled something from behind his back. "And, these were in the hallway. We thought they might be yours." Indeed, the round, black-tinted glasses were the playboy's. Said man took them from the boy, set them on a dresser, then led them inside.

Yohji sat back down on the bed, allowing Omi to sit next to him and Ken to pull up his desk chair. 

"So..." Omi prompted, leaning in close to the older man and looking at him intently. "Do you want to talk about it?" He tilted his head just slightly.

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" said Yohji, a bitter smile growing on his lips. His eyes were downcast, staring at the spot of floor between his knees and Ken's legs. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know where to start. It was sort of a shock to both of us, I think..."

"The beginning is usually a good place," said Ken, trying to be helpful, but only earning a glare from Omi and a wistful laugh from Yohji.

"Begin wherever you want, Yohji-kun," said Omi encouragingly, smiling at him. "We're here for you – we'll just listen if you want."

The blonde man looked at Omi and Ken, then back at his space on the floor. He took a deep breath. "Well.. let's see... It began two days ago...when I was at a club... the Aorta, I think." He smiled slightly. Aya had been so pissed when he had figured out... He had promised the red-head not to go out on his "nightly excursions" without him, anymore.

"Aya's been all about the ball-and-chain thing from the start," Yohji continued, "because he was so desperate for me – and I'm not boasting! ...He needed something that he was sure wouldn't leave him, like everything else has..." He glanced at Ken, and he looked away. He felt Omi shift beside him. "Yeah. So he made me promise not to go out clubbing and stuff without him, and at first, I did like he asked. It wasn't so bad, anyway. He didn't dance or drink, and stayed behind at the table whenever I did, so I was pretty much by myself.

But then he got annoyed with just sitting there by himself, so he made me swear to be loyal to him basically, and at first...I kept my word." He cleared his throat uncomfortably. Omi scooted away a bit, to give him air. "But then...I started seeing Schuldich at the clubs... He was...stalking me or something..."

Omi and Ken's eyes widened just slightly, but they had promised not to interrupt, so... they waited impatiently for him to continue.

"So he kept talking to me, inside my head I mean – you know, using his powers and stuff. It wasn't bad at first; it was just chit-chat. I mean, I knew he was the enemy, but he always kept out of sight. Sometimes I'd see his hair, but he never came down to the dance floor or anything. And I mean, how bad was just some talking? He wasn't doing anything. Aya never said I couldn't talk to people.

But then...finally he did come down, and he pulled me to a secluded booth, and we talked some more. Face-to-face, and not any of that psycho crap. We talked for...hours, it felt like...and I was beginning to get a little too comfortable with him. And then he kissed me. ...I guess it wouldn't have been so bad, if I hadn't _responded_ to it, though...and if I hadn't _enjoyed_ it..." He ran another hand through his hair. "He screwed me over, that bastard," he growled to himself.

"Finally, he left, after we had kissed a few times, before things got too far... Disgusted with me for thinking of Aya, or something.. So I went home, disgusted with myself. Aya was still up – I guess I _was home pretty early – and well...we decided to hop in bed and...yeah..." He skipped the details. "And I did something so incredibly stupid... I still can't believe it..." He trailed off, silent, obviously hitting himself over and over mentally._

"What did you do?" Ken asked, and Omi glared at him again. "What? Sorry, I'm just curious! It's not like you're so stupid to say someone else's name or anything – that would be—" He blinked as Yohji's head turned up, and he looked at him, robotically almost. "What...?"

"You got it," Yohji said, smirking lightly then falling back on his bed. "It was so incredibly stupid of me...it's never happened before, and you know that Aya's never going to buy it that I said Schuldich's name on accident—"

"You said _Schuldich's_ name on accident?!" Ken and Omi yelped at the same time. Yohji glared at them, making them shut up, seeing as Aya was only a few rooms away.

"I thought you only kissed?" Ken said, after recovering.

"We did; we only kissed. Like...three times... but I don't know why! I can't believe it myself! Aya hates Schwarz's guts, seeing as they were hired by Takatori and almost killed his sister. You know he's never going to forgive me for it, _I_ know he never will—"

Omi stopped him. "How do you know he won't? You guys seemed so happy with each other, I mean...if he really enjoyed your presence with him, at that level, he'll come to his senses and you'll get back together... It's only logical. Even Aya can't be that badly encrypted with his emotions!"

"Yeah," Ken chimed in, leaning closer. "You guys did seem comfortable together; it'd be irrational to ...stay away... because of something so accidental; so stupid! He knows your reputation, and he knows what Schuldich can do to people's minds. We all know you wouldn't choose Schuldich over Aya, and..." His voice faltered at the look Yohji was giving him: a helpless, forlorn look, like a kicked puppy in freezing cold rain at night...

Omi saw it too. "...So...what you mean to say...is that Schuldich wasn't inside your head...and that...you were thinking about him in bed with Aya, on your own?" 

Yohji nodded, slowly, regretting it, but this revelation did have an impact on him. He trusted his gut more than he did his brain, not to mention his...unmentionables...so he didn't see – well, he did, if he was going by Aya's point of view – what would make this a different case just because it was Schwarz. When it came right down to it, they were the same anyway, now that Schwarz was stripped of its hated employer. It just so happened their names were White and Black.

"...So...if Aya thinks...that you still...well, 'love'...him, and comes back to you..." Ken began, "...you'd have to turn him down? There's no way to get around this? No way to...get over Schuldich and go back to Aya?" He had trouble fathoming the whole "Weiss and Schwarz" pairing, obviously.

Yohji smiled. "I don't think so, KenKen."

"Oh."

They were silent for a few minutes, then the two stood up, as if on cue.

"We'll be back later," said Omi. "We're going to go cheer up Aya now."

"Don't tell him—"

"We won't, Yohji-kun," said Omi, smiling. "We're your friends." Then they left.

Once he was alone, and their footsteps receded down the hall to Aya's room, and Yohji used all his willpower not to listen, the man contemplated Omi's parting words.

If they were his friends, not telling Aya exactly why he betrayed him, what did that make Aya?

Was he his enemy? An acquaintance?

...And then a nasal-sounding voice began to speak in his head...

~Even fleeting happiness can be true happiness, Kätzchen. But that's the problem... It's fleeting.~

Yohji's breath caught in his throat, and it took a few moments for it to subside. But then he spoke, not just to his empty room this time. "...Then what do you call what we have, Schuldich? ...Two months. You said if these feelings lingered longer than a month, they were real. But if what I had with Aya was true, then what is _this_? Fake?"

The nasally voice laughed; a strange sensation. ~Of course not. It's real and true, also. ...This one just doesn't fleet.~

"This so-called relationship has screwed me over more than once, Schuldich. This is practically treason to Weiss." He stared at the dark corner, near his closet. The patch of darkness that was blacker than the area surrounding it...vaguely in the shape of a man leaning against the wall and side of his dresser... So close...

~Don't spoil the moment, Kätzchen.~

"...It's the only thing I'm good at." He looked at the tattoo on his shoulder, and rubbed it, as if to relieve some pent-up pressure and pain hidden in the muscle beneath. _....When you gonna learn? _

~Just don't spoil anything,~ said the nasally-voice in his head. ~Just... Embrace the concept of good enough.~

"Fine."

He fell back on his bed, and stared up.

Then the figure that had been huddling in the corner made his move, and Yohji no longer saw the ceiling fan that was on its minimum speed.

~*~

A/N- MRAGGA! That SUCKED! _;; I'm really sorry guys, I was in a rush when I wrote this (read on to find out why), and the ending was bugging me ('embrace the concept of good enough'). **Keep checking back on my author's page thing for the sequel to this, titled "Gut Genug," which is translated to "Good Enough" (how clever and practical I am!). ...So basically "Gut Genug" will start from where this left off. ^^ Aren't you guys happy (if you liked this piece of crap, that is)?**

Oh, and the reason I was in a rush...

Progress Reports come out tomorrow at our school. I think I might've gotten a low 80 in math, and low 80s are enough to get me grounded with my parents, so... Yeah. I'm usually grounded until report cards, which is 3 weeks from tomorrow (Oct. 21). But I don't know if I'll be grounded for sure or not. Check out my blog/online-journal/Xanga site at **www. xanga. com/ ricciduck (erase the spaces!) for updates on my status and stuff... If I don't update in the next week or so, I'm grounded...**

Yeah. _;; Sucks for me. **Review!! **


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